Modern black bedroom

Modern black bedroom

Arteriors lamp
purehome.com

Capiz hanging lamp
serenaandlily.com

Wall lamp
$285 – conranshop.co.uk

Embroidered bedding
allmodern.com

Vintage home decor
chairish.com

Kilim throw pillow
chairish.com

Bench
grandinroad.com

Yellow side table
onekingslane.com

Storage shelve
lampsplus.com

Avery Bed
roomandboard.com

Backyard Beauty

Backyard Beauty

Wall mat
bedbathandbeyond.com

Non skid mat
bedbathandbeyond.com

Outdoor decor
1stdibs.com

Modern home decor
dotandbo.com

Succulent plant
target.com

How to shove lots of super-foods into your pie-hole for breakfast

I kind of suck at blogging. I have like three whole seconds to devote to crafting witty posts and make sure they hit all the marks of a good blog. Whatevs. I am just too busy to care. And for the faint of heart, this post is full of F-bombs because I am cranky right now and know that nobody else is going to make dinner and I am so sick and tired of doing it. So there. You’ve been warned.

Let’s talk about breakfast in the morning. What a joke. Our family has one bathroom and four people and it’s a big fat hassle to do my hair and makeup. So I’m pretty fucking cranky by the time I have to make food. Coffee, yes, I can see the return on that. Caffeine = good. Breakfast? Not so much. Also, I am totally not ready to eat at 7 am. So breakfast has to be both fast and portable and hopefully include chocolate. I used to grab a meal bar on my way out the door but have you read the ingredients in those things? Um, SUGAR, with some extra fructose. Plus, a bunch of ingredients I can’t identify. Total crap.

nuggets

Nuggets in their cups

So I decided to come up with my own recipe for breakfast nuggets. But I am not a very good cook to be honest. I need recipes to be as fool-proof as possible. I read an interesting recipe for gluten-free pancakes online which consisted of just a smashed banana and an beaten egg. I figured if that worked (and I know they do ‘cuz I love them) then it would work as my base for breakfast bars. So here it goes:

Super-food breakfast nuggets

Ingredients:

  • 1 ripe banana (mashed)
  • 1 egg (beaten)
  • 2 T. peanut butter (lick that spoon, bitches)
  • 1/4 c. almond flour
  • 1 1/2 – 2 c. old fashioned oatmeal
    Plus assorted super-foods including but not limited to:
  • Roasted coconut chips (sample them, so yummy)
  • Dark chocolate (chopped and taste-tested)
  • Chia seeds
  • Flax meal
  • Apples (chopped)
  • Cinnamon
You can buy all this shit at Trader Joe's.

You can buy all this shit at Trader Joe’s.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. With a fork (I’m not fancy), mix the first 4 ingredients together in a bowl. Add the oats until the batter/dough is the consistency of cookie dough. If you don’t know what that consistency looks like, think chunky. Include small amounts of the last six ingredients as desired (1 T or so, except for the chocolate – just load them up because you deserve it).

Spoon even amounts of dough into a greased muffin tin. (I used a mini-muffin tin and got 12 “nuggets”.) Bake for about 6-10 minutes, but watch these fuckers cuz’ they burn easy. And it’s just egg, people, you don’t need to cook the crap out of them.

When they are cool, stick 2-3 nuggets in those little snack baggies that you accidentally bought last week that you thought were sandwich bags. Now you are ready to grab a bag on the way out the door and eat it in the car. If you are lucky, they will not crumble and you will not have a chocolate chip lodge itself on your shirt somewhere only to be discovered later, melted, by some coworker who wants to know if you ate a candy bar for breakfast. It’s not like I’ve had that happen or anything. Geesh.