I’m not dead yet!

About a month ago, I had a wickedly weird car accident. About 500 feet away from my house, my car was hit broadside and flipped four times. I’ve heard it so many times from so many people: I could have died. I get that, I still freak out about it. Almost every day.

So this blog is changing. Months have gone by without me writing anything because I was afraid. Afraid of what other people would think. I can’t think that way anymore. I’m going to talk about stuff that makes me happy and fuck everyone else. If nail polish makes me happy, I’m talking about it. If I feel like going on about my hair, that is what I am going to do, so there. I no longer care about what  people might think, whether I’m shallow or not. I. Just. Don’t. Care.

I am alive. I am lucky as hell to be alive. I don’t care that I’m getting older anymore because at least I’m getting old. THANK You SWEET JESUS.


You know you want to look like this.

As part of my “not dead yet” celebration, I booked myself for a makeover at Sephora. Getting a makeover is sort of like going on a blind date with yourself. You don’t know if the face you walk out with will be Lady Gaga or Loren Bacall.

I had a great consultant and I came with an open mind. Here’s what I learned:

  • Start with your eyes. That way, if your hands shake, sneeze mascara on your cheeks, or the eye shadow crumbles, you can still clean it up with makeup remover and a Q-tip. No problem bitches.
  • You’re old, I get it, but use eyeliner.  I had stopped using black eyeliner because of how harsh it looked. But My Lady Sephora shared some awesome new eyeliners with me. They are Sephora brand, extremely soft going on and waterproof up to 24 hours which means it will not gouge your eyelid going on or end up on your face. Try the Sephora Eyeliner in Cappuccino or Diving in Malaysia. There are 34 colors in all and many colors in the mid-ranges with are good for us older chicks.
  • All mascaras are not created equal. I bought into the idea that all mascaras are the same. Wrong! Two coats of Dior’s Diorshow mascara and I look like I have the eye lashes of a 20-year-old.
  • primerUse primer. Use that shit all over your face. Get primers for each of your facial areas: eye shadow, face, and lips. You might be asking yourself, why can’t I use my face primer on my eyelids? Well, you can but then you’d be dumb. Here’s why: because the eyelid primer is made like a rock star to keep that eye shadow crap from bunching or ending up in your eye cracks. Are your eyelids the same as your lips? Hell no, so don’t use the one primer on all areas. Here’s what I use and it’s magical:
    Eyes: Urban Decay Primer Potion |  Face: Lancôme Perfect Primer | Lips: Too Faced Lip Primer
  • Use brushes. They make makeup brushes for a reason– to paint your face. Get your inner artist on and use those brushes! Putting eye shadow on with a brush is easy. You need to think of the eye shadow as paint and then dab dab dab in little circular brush strokes. Just like with paint brushes, you can clean your brushes with water and make up remover. Nice.
  • foundationFoundational support is good for your face as well as your boobs. If you are past 40 like I am, your face is going to start needing all the help you can give it. I won’t get all preachy about sunscreen here because this is a makeover, people. Anyway, my Sephora magic master schooled me on some foundation that rocks my world. I was using a very creamy BB cream from the drug store and by 3 pm my face was as OILY as a teenagers. Gross. The new foundation I bought is by Make Up For Ever for Face and Body. The formula is really light and it is absolutely invisible on my skin, something about the way it dries mimics skin. Apparently you can use it on your body as well for tattoos you want to cover up and varicose veins and shit.
  • Bronzer doesn’t have to be scary. After the accident, I heard “you look so pale/tired/scared” all the time. It’s hard enough to get old without people always commenting on how shitty you look. Bust a move with a teeny bit of bronzer and they will shut the hell up. I got the Laura Mercier Baked Blush Bronzer. Lil’ tip here: swipe the bronzer just once with a brush then knock most of it off, maybe swipe a tissue with the brush for good measure. You do not want to over-do this. Start with just the teeniest bit of bronzer under your cheek bones and an even tinier bit all over the parts of your face that the sun would naturally hit. You can always build up to more color but it’s hard to undo.
  • Add color to your face. Neutrals are okay and all. But make your inner 17-year old happy and put a little color on your face. I use this awesome peachy pink blush from Sephora’s brand  in Rose Petal 08. Swipe that shit right on the apples of your cheeks. Paired with the bronzer it will make you look like you had a couple of orgasms.
  • lipstickSpeaking of orgasms. They are amazing, and right below them on the scale of amazing is this lipstick: Yves Saint Laurent Volupte Sheer Candy Glossy Balm in Tasty Raspberry.  Erghmagawd, if you only can buy one fancy make up item this year, it must be this balm. Is it lip balm or lipstick or magic in a tube? Hell if I know. It smells good, tastes good, and goes on sooo creamy. I have advised everyone I know to bring this to me on my death-bed so that my last moments on this earth will be filled with joy. I am serious. It is sheer but not invisible and will make you feel like rainbows are shooting out of your butt.

I’ve gotten a lot of comments in the few days since the makeover as I’ve practiced the tips, so I must be doing something right. It’s made me feel better so I feel like buying all of this expensive stuff has been worth it. Take care of yourselves and do shit that makes you happy!


Age is just a number, mine is unlisted

It’s time for me to come clean.

I’m a <cough, cough=””> 40+ year old girl in a long-term relationship with a dude 14 years younger. There, I said it.

I like to believe that he and I both look like we’re 30-35. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. The pressure is on though for hanging on my youthful looks. And let me tell you, it’s a lot harder to look good now than it was 20 years ago.

In the process of trying to stay on top of my game, I’ve checked out the blogs of lot of talented women. These blogs contain hair tutorials, make-up, and fashion tips. Unforch, all of these blogs are by women in their twenties. I can’t seem to find anything really helpful for women over 35. Because as you may know, it’s a different game when you are older.

Something starts happening in your late thirties: your hair gets frizzier, the grey starts coming in, your skin wrinkles and becomes a little bit dull, and you see circles under your eyes. Suckay. But there is so much you can do to maintain hotness as you age and really look ten years younger.

Let’s start with the most important stuff (shown below) I’ve found to keep looking young, besides eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep.

10 Years Younger

First off, OMG stop tanning. The sun is evil! Sunscreen, sunscreen, suncreen. Sun exposure is the number one cause of wrinkles and skin discoloration. Prevention is worth thousands in future laser skin treatments, botox, and collagen injections. In fact, if you already have skin damage from the sun, the treatments above may be your best option. But let’s assume you don’t have the skin of an alligator just yet.

Next, start using a serious hexapeptide cream like the Avotone cream shown below. This is a brand I’ve been using for years, but there are many others on the market that are just as good. You have to look for the acetyl hexpeptide-3 ingredient and rock this stuff every night before bed.

In the mornings, slather your face with a good retinol treatment like the ROC cream shown with sunscreen. Layer this under your make-up in the morning to prevent wrinkles all day long.

The make-up items shown by Revlon are good luminators to brighten skin tone both under the eyes and all over the face. There are many more expensive blushes and luminators at Sephora (which I love) but the drugstore cosmetics can work well too as long as you find one that works with your skin tone. As a blonde, I favor peaches and pinks.

Finally, use smoothing creams for the dreaded frizzy hair. Besides the wrinkles on your face, the condition of your hair is the other top way age shows up. Years of highlighting, blow drying, and hot irons take their toll on the strands, particularly on the sides and back of your head. Deep conditioning can only do so much because in the end you rinse it all away. I use a large dose of smoothing cream every day paired with a couple of squirts of silicone serum. You’ll have to tailor the amounts for the thickness and texture of your hair. While a little goes a long way, I actually have to use quite a lot on my hair.

I’ll be writing about specific products over the next few weeks and posting pictures as well. Stay tuned.