Adventures in bleeding: How to keep your uterus from exploding

People, brace yourselves. This blog is not for the squeamish. You see, it’s about my lady parts. You know, my Baby Bed… My lady junk. My STUFF. If you are a man and the thought of blood and vaginal anything scares you, you should leave now. We’ll give you a minute. Go on now, git.

It’s all rather embarrassing. And that’s part of the problem. As women, we do not talk about this stuff. We find it gross or unladylike or just plain weird to talk to each other about it. Unforch, what happens is that we are all suffering similarly but in silence. And double-unforch, together we might be able to come up with better information and healthier solutions than those being offered by the medical establishment today.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a good doctor. Doctors save lives. They are who you want in your corner when your life is threatened. But are they the best resource for figuring out the mysteries of your body? Are they the best healers? Doctors today have approximately 10 minutes to get your story and whip out a prognosis and treatment plan. Can we really expect them to get it right? I don’t think so. As patients, we are being treated by the numbers: What is most likely to be the cause, how most women respond to certain treatments, the results of studies conducted on college co-eds 20 years ago, and of course whatever is being sold by the drug companies.

Let me whip out a frightening fact for you: According to the CDC, women in the age group of 40 – 44 have the highest rate of hysterectomy. This age group is typically still years and years away from menopause. So why are so many women who should be feeling like 40 is the new 30 are instead having their lady parts removed? Two words: HORMONAL IMBALANCE.

It’s time for us to get our shit together ladies. Seriously. Unless you like being a passive passenger on this trip we call life, we need to start getting involved in our hormonal health.

Here’s my story and how I got to this place. This year has sucked big donkey balls for me. In April, I was in a rollover car accident that brought on a complete mental breakdown. In September, there was a tragic accident involving my favorite soul-mate dog and beloved brother and nephew which brought on mental breakdown #2. Finally, a big project at work brought on stress and more stress and of course I’m still aging… and viola! My hormones are completely f-ed up.

My problem is blood.

I am a walking Stephen King novel. I can bleed like nobody’s business. They should give me some kind of tiara for this shit. The best part is how unpredictable it is. Last week, on the busiest day of my work year  I am minding my own business, just sitting there blowing up balloons for this fair that I organize, when BAM! Spontaneous blood flood. I am super grateful for black skinny jeans because they soaked it up well so I didn’t drip the 200 yards to the bathroom and the blood didn’t show. The flow had made it almost down to my knees. I cleaned up as best I could in the restroom but obviously had to go home immediately for a shower and clothing change. I made it back to work with only minutes to spare before the fair was scheduled to start.

I wonder if Carrie had a hormonal imbalance too?

I’ve seen a doctor. And my sweet little 29 year old doc put me on birth control pills. Lucky for me I already had a clue that my issue was estrogen related (too much of it) so I asked for the progesterone only pill. She would’ve put me on the combo pill, however, which would have made the estrogen dominance even worse for sure. Since starting the pill, however, I’ve been spotting and have had a 13 day period. So I did some more research and discovered that since the progesterone only pill isn’t ACTUALLY progesterone (it’s progestin which is a chemical compound sort-of like progesterone) this kind of spotting and period changes are NORMAL. Yeah right.

Those little extra chemical thingies off the side are going to fuck you up.

I do not accept that. I do not accept that this is the best plan for me. Fuck that. (Sorry for the language but if you’ve read my blog before you know I have a potty mouth.)

So I started researching. I’ve spent every spare moment reading and researching. According to some great web sites and several informative books there are better ways to treat my hormonal imbalance. I also did some research on the best sources for natural progesterone and how to administer it and am now off of the pills and onto a bio-identical progesterone cream.

I won’t know for another few weeks if my plan is working. At least I am hopeful. And I’m talking about it. We need to talk about it. I know two women in my circle of acquaintances who have had hysterectomies this month. And while it is a solution, it brings with it instance menopause and hormonal imbalances of a different kind. I know of another friend with breast fibroids (also due to estrogen dominance) and more friends with bleeding problems. I am not a statistical corner case. This is happening to MOST OF US. And we owe it to each other to learn about it and talk about it.

So here’s my recommended reading list to get you started:

  • Dr. John R. Lee’s Hormone Balance Made Simple – Short and sweet, contains a list of symptoms and the hormonal causes. Great reference for personalizing hormonal treatments just for you.
  • What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause – Premenopause is the phase before perimenopause and spans the ages 30-50, generally. This book contains a ton of info about the different conditions women start to experience during this time of life and what to do about them.
  • The Perimenopause Blog – A great site put together by a woman named Magnolia Miller. She has experienced most of this first hand and also holds a professional certification as a healthcare consumer advocate in women’s health, and is currently conducting graduate research in the field of medical anthropology with a focus on women’s health issues in perimenopause, menopause & post menopause issues.
  • Taking Charge of Your Fertility – The definitive guide to learning about your cycle, the hormones involved, and how to read your own body. I used the knowledge I learned in this book as birth control for 10+ years so I know it works. It’s a great reference for finding out if you are ovulating, not-ovulating, or generally finding out what your lady parts are doing.

For my tech-savvy friends, I also recommend getting an app to track your cycles. I use an app that tracks my cycles, the days, my bleeding, as well as my basal body temperatures. There are tons of them in the App Store, so shop around and pick the one that you’re most comfortable with.

I’ll post more later as I discover how my plan is working. For today, I am very happy I have stopped bleeding.

I will also write a post soon about what I learned about nutrient and vitamin levels and how that contributes to our hormones. So much good information is out there. Educate yourself, m’ladies!

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4 thoughts on “Adventures in bleeding: How to keep your uterus from exploding

  1. I’m with ya, Sista. I’m currently reading “The Thyroid Diet” and “The Hormone Cure.” For me, Cortisol is the hormone du jour. Gotta spend more time relaxing and less time stressing.

    • Hey girl! I am going to an acupuncturist tomorrow as well. A few people have privately messaged me and said that it will totally help. I plan on keeping all the parts I can! In the meantime, you should check out the website for Dr. John R. Lee if you find yourself in a similar situation…

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