I got some new jeans last night and it’s like tiny little fairies are constantly waving magic wands above my ass while sprinkling baby-got-back glitter in my wake.
Seriously people, unicorns and rainbows are shooting out of my butt. These jeans are that magical.
These jeans are so amazingly fucktastic that I feel the need to strut around the office sharing my ass with the poor humble people who do not have a pair of jeans such as I do. I honestly don’t know how they get through the day wearing their sad jeans and khakis. I feel I must uplift them with the sight of my butt in these jeans.
Unforch, I am also wearing a pair of boots that make farty sounds while I walk.