The irony of ass

I got some new jeans last night and it’s like tiny little fairies are constantly waving magic wands above my ass while sprinkling baby-got-back glitter in my wake.

Seriously people, unicorns and rainbows are shooting out of my butt. These jeans are that magical.

My new dark boot cut jeans are bomb-diggety

These jeans are so amazingly fucktastic that I feel the need to strut around the office sharing my ass with the poor humble people who do not have a pair of jeans such as I do. I honestly don’t know how they get through the day wearing their sad jeans and khakis. I feel I must uplift them with the sight of my butt in these jeans.

Unforch, I am also wearing a pair of boots that make farty sounds while I walk.

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