Crawl back up inside

Dear Lovely-extended-holiday-weekend,

I would like to take a baseball bat to your nuts right now. Too much family closeness makes me yearn for a nice school/work day. Baaaahhhh!

Is it bed time yet?

No. Instead of shipping the kids off to bed pretending that really, seriously, it is a school day tomorrow we are watching this awful 1996 movie called The Phantom which has Billy Zane in a really silly looking purple spandex costume trying to make us believe he is a good guy. And we all KNOW Billy Zane is a bad guy. Forever. We are being tortured by the movie because my youngest has panicky breathy attacky things when we watch scary movies and while Iron Man is ooohhh sooo scary, apparently Billy Zane in a purple spandex jumpsuit is sweet like grape flavored baby Tylenol.

Sheer torture.

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The purple Zanester wouldn’t be half so bad if I didn’t feel totally smothered right now. I swear sometimes I feel like the neediness is never-ending. My baby girl just wants to just crawl back up inside. And I gotta say it makes me crazy. She is an endless black hole of neediness. I’m sure that saying this out loud makes me a shitty mom. Must have space.

Save me Billy Zane.

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